Okay.
Now here's my painting.
Who's that? Freddie?
No, it's a clown.
Oops. Sorry, clown.
And now, let's take a look
at Sam's painting.
Okay,
I have no idea what that is.
It's a meatball.
Yes, Sam has painted her dream.
Okay.
Till the next "iCarly."
Bye. Ciao.
See you.
- And we're clear.
- Whoo.
Hey, you should go
rinse the paint off first.
You're gonna ruin your shirt.
Who cares about my shirt?
Who cares about anything?
Not me.
What's wrong?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- Good.
Who's up for chicken wings?
I know I am.
Gibby, seriously,
what's the matter?
Shannon Mitchell, okay?
What about Shannon?
What's the prob?
I want her to like me,
but every time
I try to talk to her,
I get all shy.
Why does she have to be
so cute?
I'm goin' home.
Gibby—
I don't wanna talk about it.
Aw, poor kid.
It must be awful
to love someone
who doesn't love you back.
Sorry.
In five, four, three, two...
Oh, there he is.
Hey, Gibby.
What's up?
We came up with a great way
to set you up with Shannon.
How?
On the next "iCarly,"
we're gonna play a game
called "I win a date."
- "I win a date"?
- Yeah.
And you're gonna be
the special mystery date.
And we're gonna get Shannon
to be one of the contestants.
So that way—
Who's your friend
and why is he staring at me
like a freak?
Oh, this is Reuben.
Sorry.
It's like you were
born sideways
over the moon
with 21/2 scoops.
Zipang.
Okay, I think
I gotta punch this kid
in the mouth.
Wait, I think
he might be complimenting you.
Was that a compliment?
Hey, just 'cause
I bump the chump
doesn't mean
I lost my bingo trap.
That is so true.
No. No.
Stephanie, I really don't think
we should go out again.
Come on, I didn't say
I had a bad time last night.
It's just— Stephanie—
Step— Steph—
because I don't like you.
So, I guess your blind date
went pretty well last night.
She brought her pet
unicorn to dinner.
There's no such thing
as unicorns.
Try telling her that.
I'm just gonna stay single
the rest of my life.
They'll call me
"Single Spencer,"
the guy with no lady to hold.
Why don't you try
one of those dating websites
like whynotdateme.com,
you know,
where lonely adults
find even lonelier adults?
Sounds so tempting.
At least you get to see a video
of the person
before you go on a date.
Yeah, but those websites
are just so—
Hello?
Stephanie.
Stephanie—
No, I will not speak
to your unicorn.
Because he's not real.
That website again?
Hey, Shannon.
- Hey.
So, listen, you guys wanna be
on the next "iCarly"?
- Definitely.
- Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do?
Well, let's just say one of you
is gonna win a date
with an awesome guy.
- Freddie?
- I said "awesome guy,"
not "ridiculous goob."
I think Freddie
is cute and smart.
Okay,
what'd you eat for breakfast?
A big bowl of crazy flakes?
There's my raspberry
soccer ball.
And speakin' of crazy flakes,
it's you.
Hello there.
My name is Spencer Shay.
Hello.
I've never used an Internet
dating service before,
but my sister told me
about this one,
whynotdateme.com.
So, why not date me?
I enjoy people.
What are you doing?
Making a video
for whynotdateme.com.
Give me the remote.
What's wrong?
You're not being you.
You gotta be looser.
How do I not look—
Your shirt should be out,
these buttons should be undone,
and your hair needs
some of this.
There.
What did you put in your hair?
- Chicken fat.
- Oh, my God.
Gibby,
ready to play "I win a date"?
Shannon's really in there?
Right through that door.
Man, this is intense.
Just remember,
all your voices are gonna be
electronically disguised.
Why?
To keep your identities
a mystery.
Then how will I know
which one is Shannon?
- She'll be girl number—
- You can't just tell him.
We have to keep
the game real and fair.
But what if I don't pick
Shannon?
Listen, there'll be
three girls out there.
Girl number one,
girl number two,
and girl number three.
But how will I know
which one is Shannon?
If you really want two
go on a date with Shannon,
then you need two
choose carefully.
That's all you have two—
Two—
do.
Okay.
Hey, you guys
better come in here.
Be right back.
- What?
- What's up?
Um,
Celine and Julia aren't coming.
- What?
- Why aren't they coming?
They got tickets
to see "Girly Cow on Ice."
Why is it that whenever
there's a popular TV show,
they just gotta go
put it on ice?
Guys, we have seven minutes
to figure out
how we're gonna play
"I win a date"
without girl number one
or girl number three.
Oh, Freddie,
you're so good at math.
Well, let's hope he's good
at hosting a game show.
Pardon?
And one, two, three, four, go.
Hello there.
My name's Freddie,
and here tonight
on this special webcast
of "iCarly,"
we're gonna play
a new game called—
"I win a date."
Okay. First, let's meet
our mystery date.
Now, keep in mind,
his voice has been disguised
so that our girl contestants
won't recognize him.
Hello, mystery date.
Hi.
It's great to be here, Freddie.
And now,
let's meet our three girls.
Remember, their voices
have also been disguised.
Hello, girl number one.
[high-pitched voice] Hello,
Freddie, nice to see you.
Wow, my voice sounds so weird.
That's so cool.
Nice to see you.
And girl number two.
Hi, Freddie.
And, uh, girl number three.
Hey, Fredward.
How's it hangin'?
And those are the three girls
competing to win a date
with our mystery man.
Whichever girl he picks
will join him
on a romantic dinner for two
at the Cheesecake Warehouse.
Awesome.
Now, mystery man,
you ask the questions,
listen to the girls'
answers carefully,
and then, when it's all over,
it will be up to you
to choose your girl.
Begin.
Okay. Girl number one.
Yes?
What is your favorite type
of music?
What's your least favorite?
I guess rap.
Oh, well, I love rap.
Yeah, rap music.
I listen to it all the time.
Rap is tight, yo.
Okay, girl number two.
I guess my fave music
would either be
rock 'n roll or pop.
Hey, me too.
Cool.
How about you,
girl number three?
Okay.
Where is girl number three?
Mmm.
I loves me the cold chili.
Okay, mystery date.
You have time
for one final question.
Cool. Girl number two.
If one day we were married,
how would you wake me up
in the morning?
Well, I'd say,
"Wake up, sleepy head,"
then I'll bring you
a super nice breakfast in bed.
Sweet.
Girl number one,
how would you wake me up?
I'd yell,
"Get up and go get a job,
you lazy sack,"
and then I'd pour hot soup
on your face.
All right, mystery date.
That's the end
of the final round.
Who will be your lucky date
to the Cheesecake Warehouse?
It's time to choose.
Well, um, I-I gotta go with
girl number one.
Yay! Congratulate— What?
What?
Why'd you pick me?
You were supposed
to pick Shannon.
I didn't know Carly
was girl number one.
It doesn't matter, anyway.
Shannon likes Freddie.
No, don't worry about that.
I'm in love with someone else.
- Not happening.
- I know.
Sorry I ruined everything.
And don't worry,
you don't have to go
on a date with me.
It'll be fun.
You know, cheesecake
and you and me
and oh.
Hey, wanna give me
a ride to school?
Sure, but I—
- Come check this out first.
- What?
I made a new video
for whynotdateme.com.
You know,
looser like you suggested.
Cool. Let's see it.
Hey, there.
The name is Spencer.
What's with the baseball?
It's to make me look sporty.
Shh.
If you're looking for a fun,
creative guy,
well, then,
you just took a right turn
down the lucky street.
Why don't you go ahead
and put it in park.
Send me an email.
Write it, click it, send it.
You just took a right turn
down lucky street?
That doesn't make
a girl wanna email you.
That makes a girl wanna go—
All right.
I'll make a new video.
Good.
Now, what did you break
with your baseball?
- Nothin'.
- Did you kill our gold fish?
Yes.
I think he wanted to die.
That fish had hopes and dreams.
Um, hey, Carly.
I-I made reservations
at the Cheesecake Warehouse
for tonight at seven,
unless you decided
that you don't wanna go.
Of course, I wanna go.
We're gonna have a great time.
Just you and me
alone at the table
for three hours.
Oh.
Hey, how about a pop
for the boomerang?
He wants to know
if you want a double date,
you and me, him and Sam.
Yes.
Sam would love that.
It's a date, a double date.
Yay, Sam will be so happy.
Okay. Well, see you there.
Tell Sam I'll be ready
to hang my socks
on the monkey parade.
Absolutely.
These are love notes.
Uh-oh. From Shannon?
Uh-huh.
And try taking a test
while she's staring at you
like this.
Please never make
those faces again.
What's it gonna take
to make Shannon understand
I don't wanna go out with her?
Uh...
Maybe you should go out
with Shannon.
Why? I thought you were
still trying
to get her and Gibby
together.
I am. I have my date
with Gibby tonight,
and Sam is going with Reuben.
- Sam and Reuben?
- Long story.
But, you should invite Shannon,
so we can try
to make her like Gibby.
If that'll get her
to leave me alone, fine.
- Then, tonight we triple date.
- What triple date?
Carly and Gibby,
me and Shannon, you and Reuben.
You set me up with Reuben?
- No, no, no, not me.
- No.
Get her off of me.
Get her off.
- Help. Help. Help. Help.
- It was me.
- I set you up with Reuben.
- Why would you—
Because he wanted
to go out with you
and I didn't wanna be alone
with Gibby for three hours.
- Well, I'm not going.
- Oh, yes, you are.
- You wanna know why?
- Why?
'Cause when you're mother
got chickenpox,
I helped you
rubbed calamine lotion
all over that woman,
and those pox where everywhere.
You're a good friend.
- No, you didn't.
- I swear.
- Hey.
- Hey, what you doin'?
Ah, I just made a new video
for whynotdateme.com.
My mom got banned
from that website.
So, let's see your new video.
Okay. I try to keep it simple
and real.
Here, take a look.
Just you eating cereal?
Uh-huh.
How long does it go on?
Like nine minutes.
Dude.
I know. I couldn't think
of anything better.
I guess
I should go take a shower.
- Why?
- 'Cause I always get
my best ideas when I'm wet.
Okay.
We need a plan for tonight.
We got to make sure
Shannon ends up with Gibby.
Well, Shannon likes Freddie
so let's just tell Gibby
to act like Freddie.
Nah.
Gibby has got to be himself.
Yeah. Look
where that's got him in life.
You're so right.
These are the biggest salads
in the history of mankind.
I know. I'm already full
and I hadn't even made a dent.
I'm out of salad.
Wow.
You can make a dog bark faster
than a fish could climb a tree.
True that.
True what?
So, Freddie,
how did you get to know
so much about computers?
- Oh, actually, I—
Oh, Gibby taught me.
Didn't you, Gibby?
Um, yes.
Yes, I-I did.
Really? I didn't know
you're into computers.
What kind do you have?
Um, it's white.
Well, these salads
aren't gonna eat themselves.
I think Freddie
is such a cute name.
Gibby's middle name is Freddie.
Really?
It sort of is.
It's close to Freddie.
Well, what is it?
Cornelius.
Okay. Who could eat
a piece of cheesecake this big?
Shouldn't there be a law
that says,
"my dessert
can't weigh more than me."
I know,
might as well tie a knot
around two kangaroos.
You know what I'm sayin'?
No. No, Reuben.
I don't know
what you're sayin'.
Pretty much nobody ever knows
what you're sayin'.
Know what I'm sayin'?
- All right. Let's be cool.
- Yeah, Sam.
You don't need bubble wrap
to know when it's chowder time.
Yes. That is so true.
And you know what else is true?
I'm sitting here
eating cheesecake
with an Australian Eskimo
who's got ointment
all over his bumble Berry.
Oh, I can't believe
you just said that to me.
What did you say?
I don't know,
but I'm glad I said it.
Pass the whipped cream.
So, how great
is this cheesecake?
Cheesecake
is like my favorite dessert.
Gibby invented cheesecake.
No, I didn't.
Well, someone had to.
I'm so confused.
Well, don't be.
Just love Gibby.
Love him and never let him go.
What?
Look, Shannon.
I got a big crush on you,
all right?
But I know you like Freddie,
so I've been trying
to act like him
so you'll like me.
Shhh. It could still work.
I don't want it to work.
Look, I'm not like Freddie.
I don't know about tech stuff.
I don't have
a boyish cute smile.
I'm all Gibby.
You know what that means?
Tell her what that means,
Gibby.
It means I like to dance
with my shirt off.
Turn up the music.
And this is the real Gibby.
This is what I—
Where is Shannon?
She fled the restaurant.
Oh.
Don't be sad, Gibby.
Shannon is not so hot.
Yeah. You can find
a way better girl than her.
Sure. Where?
Why don't you look right here?
I like your moves.
Turn the music back up.
This is unreal.
What's unreal?
Well, you know
that nine-minute video
of me eating cereal,
the one you and Sam said
was so lame?
Which it was.
Well, I put it up
on whynotdateme.com
and guess who's already
got nine responses?
Wow. So, you got nine dates
comin' up.
Well, no.
See, these four are
from women in prison.
Ah.
And these three are from women
who recently got out of prison.
Interesting.
And these two are
from psychologists
who feel that they
can... help me.
Nice.
- What about that one?
- Oh, that one is new.
Hey, she's kind of pretty.
- That's a dude.
- Oh.
Hi.
I'm Samantha and my talent
is making
really cool animal noises.
Check it out.
Bye. Thanks for listening.